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Athletes are commodities. They generate income for corporations as a product (entertainment) that is sold to consumers (sports fans). Companies invest in these products through the salaries they pay athletes in the same way a company that sells widgets invests in development and marketing. Although the athletes are sentient, and have their own desires and demands, they can be likened in some ways to the Looney Toons in the hit movie, Space Jam. In that movie the toons, and subsequently Michael Jordan, face the possibility of a life of enslavement on Moron Mountain. Because Michael in an act of premeditated (by his managers) benevolence offers to take the toon's place, he engages in a battle for his freedom against the MonStars, who have stolen the basketball prowess of some of the NBAs most storied all-stars. The stakes are high. Should he lose he will be forced to sign autographs, get dunked on, and be caged for the viewers pleasure for the rest of his life. He would be throughly commoditized in a darker way than he is in real life, but the parallels are clear. In both the cartoon fantasy of Swackhammer and his desperate theme park and the world we live in, athletes exist for our pleasure because we derive pleasure from watching and supporting their efforts. Were we uninterested in sports, as a species, we would never represent the demand that the CEOs of large sports franchises seek to fulfill. People don't complain about the salaries of pro athletes because we love our sports, revel in the competitiveness, idolize the practitioners, and aspire to be loved in the same way.

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On a scale of 1 to Voldemort, how awkward are your hugs?  

- Reddit Comment

I think the thing I love most about this is how the internet has memed it.  

I love, love, love that the filmmakers could add some levity to the ponderous situation the characters found themselves in, having to pick sides between dark and light.  Probably the best part about this was in a way, it made you hate Voldemort even more than before, because he was somehow even LESS human after his attempted hug.  If anyone would have trouble expressing affection, it would be Voldemort.  

On an unrelated note, someone created a dubstep remix of Hedwig's theme.  

Harry Potter - Hedwig's Theme (Forekast Remix) -- FREE DOWNLOAD by Forekast

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I've been on a health kick for a little while now.  I'm not a dietician, but I've done a considerable amount of research into what I should and shouldn't be eating in order to get the body I want.  One of the questions that friends ask me is, "why don't you drink diet sodas?"  You hear 'facts' thrown around a lot, stuff like, "Diet soda causes you to gain just as much weight as regular soda, sometimes more because you drink more of it than you would regular soda."  This doesn't seem to make sense.  Diet soda doesn't have any calories!  Isn't that why I can drink 2-4, sometimes 8 cans of diet cola per day?

Unfortunately the fact is right.  Diet sodas do cause you to gain more weight, but its not from the surge of glucose that a can of regular soda gives you.  Diet soda slows your metabolism through a different mechanism.  Think about it this way:  Your body is an incredibly efficient machine.  It balances and rebalances millions of times per day to make sure your blood doesn't get too acidic or alkaline.  Through breathing, the bicarbonate buffer reaction, urination, and other processes your body keeps you alive by taking out the stuff there is too much of and replacing it with the stuff you need.  You need to have a blood pH around 7.4 to stay alive.  Both Alkalosis and Acidosis can be deadly and they are the consequences of an imbalanced body.  Eating highly acidic stuff is more thing your body has to account for.

Diet soda is full of Phosphic Acid (H3PO4).  This stuff is a caustic polyprotic acid, with a pH roughly around the level of battery acid.  It is highly water soluble, and the soda company dilutes it in bubbly water to give your drink that bite you crave without burning your throat; but the acidity has to be accounted for by your body.  In order to make up for the abundance of protons flying around due to our excessive consumption of acids, the body uses alkaline compound producing minerals.  To combat the Phosphoric Acid, your body has to give up some Iodine.  Actually, a lot of Iodine.  And the thing Iodine is essential for is thyroid function.  I won't get into too much detail about how the thyroid works, but it requires Iodine to control the release of hormones that stimulate your metabolism.  Your metabolism drives your body to burn glucose, breakdown fats, and use up the stuff you eat to make ATP and nutrients and all the other stuff you need to live.  When we drink tons of diet soda, energy drinks, alcohol, and processed foods, we deplete our body of essential iodine because our body is constantly forced to combat the onslaught of acid.  So we stop working properly, and we gain weight.  Couple that with the mentality that drinking a zero calorie beverage gives us license to eat unhealthy foods, and the freedom to drink multiple cans for soda instead of water, and we start to have a big problem that builds day after day after day. 

I don't want to be the harbinger of bad news.  I know how many of you love your diet drinks, so I'm not saying you need to stop outright, but consider moderation.  If you want to understand why your workouts aren't as effective as they could be, or why, despite your decreased food intake you haven't lost weight, think about how your body is fighting to keep things balanced and needs all the help it can get.  Drink lots of water and whenever you can, eat unprocessed foods.  If your body is working right, you can have the natural, delicious fats in meats and nuts and fish and not gain weight.  Living well doesn't have to be a burden.  

To your continued health!

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The other day I was talking to my weird neighbor who was weighing in on the importance of grammar.  I tried to feign interest for a while but his heinous disregard for plot structure was neither interesting nor informative.  The dumb heifer continued at his leisure, not attempting to summarize or rein in the scope of the conversation.  I nearly had a seizure standing there.  I was bored to the fiber of my being.  Like a foreign speaker, out of his element, he recited the forfeit creed “I before E except after C.”  Either he thinks his teacher was some kind of deity or a genius, albeit a droll one.  I think he needs to reinterpret his deism.  

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01_Chammak_Challo.m4a Listen on Posterous

Chammak Challo is something like...'my dear.'  But more flashy?  Urdu for shawty.  Not bad Akon.  Not bad at all. 

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I don't have a comment about tonight's game or the series.  I think Lebron is a tremendous athelete, whether or not he chokes when it matters.  Congrats to the Mavs on being a great team.  

What I want to talk about is a man from North Carolina.  What I do hope is that we can now stop comparing Lebron to Michael Jordan.  He is no Michael Jordan, there is no other Michael Jordan.  No one has ever dominated the game like Michael Jordan.  Even if Miami turns into the dynasty I imagine it will become, and Lebron leads that charge, the force of their dominion will never be as great as what Michael Jordan did for his team.  

Scottie Pippen is on the hook for claiming that Lebron "might be the greatest player to ever play the game."  Sure, Jordan had exactly zero rings at Lebron's age too.  And maybe Lebron will go on to surpass Jordan in total championships.  Maybe he'll even participate in two Olympics and lead his team to two Gold Medals.  Maybe he will be the NBA top scorer AND top defender simultaneously.  But he will never be seen as the single driving force for the creation of a championship team.  Not like what Jordan did for the Bulls.  Lebron is a good player, but shame on you.  How quickly you forget.  

Also, Lebron will never have Space Jam.  No one will ever have SPACE JAM.  

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Here are pictures of me defending that love in front of a large audience.

Why do I love Journey?  Listen:

Journey Playlist

That is all. 

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You probably already know that I love Calvin and Hobbes.  It was my favorite reading material growing up, and Calvin was the fictional character I could most relate to.  Lost in his imagination, always getting into trouble.  I know I'm not the only one, there are millions of people out there who feel the same way.  We were all crushed when Bill Watterson decided he had said all he intended to through Calvin and retired.  But the imagination that we related to was real, and it never went away.  Some people have started to translate that into new art, trying to channel the spirit of Calvin into characters that feel true.  Some people have done this very well, some...not so well.  At Pantsareoverrated.com they're doing something magical, with a three comic series on Calvin's daughter, Bacon (Francis Bacon, get it?).  The comic feels true, like this is what was supposed to happen.  There are some missing links, and others have tried to fill those gaps, but I'm going to leave those out of this series because they don't feel authentic.  Here is the propsed timeline, in order from old to new:

See the full gallery on Posterous

Note: To view comics full screen click on the four arrows pointing away from each other icon in the lower right hand corner of the image.  You'll probably have to X out to be able to read the pantsareoverrated comics since they are longform. 

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I've seen a lot of lyrics floating around for the recent hit Michael Bolton/Lonely Island collaboration, Jack Sparrow.  A lot of them were wrong, but when I tried to do it myself I found it was harder than I thought I would be to transcribe this song.  I've bolded the parts I couldn't figure out, I'd love some help figuring the rest out.  Scroll down, play the youtube vide, scroll back up, and follow along.  Let me know in the comments what you think could change.  

Update 12:00 PM: Changed Cool Bottle Flame to Cubano Flame, Giving them ONE FOR to giving them WHAT FOR.

Social Media analysis on the impact of this song on Michael Bolton's career forthcoming.  

UPDATE: The power of social media wins.  These are now accurate lyrics!

[INTRO]
Intercom: Guys Michael Bolton is here
Andy: Oh great, send him in.
Michael: Hey guys
All: Hey thanks for coming.
Andy: How’s it goin’?
Michael: I’m really sorry I’m late I just got caught up watching the Pirates of the Caribbean marathon…have you seen those things?
All: Oh yeah, those are great.
Michael: Well I listened to your track and I loved it, and I wrote you this big, sexy hook I think you’re gonna really dig.
Andy: Oh wow, that’s great. Should we just lay it down?
Michael: Boys…lets get to it (to it to it to it)

[ANDY]
Here we go
Uh, Lonely Island, Michael Bolton (Michael: YEAH)
The night starts now
Together on the track
The boys are back
(The night starts now)
Night starts now, baby, roll with us
Chickies snappin’ at the neck when we rollin’ up (Michael: Rollin’up!)
Club front doors ain’t no holdin’ up
Black card at the bar like I gives a f**k (Michael: Come on!)

[JORMA]
Ladies shifty eyed when we walk into the set
f**k the fellas lookin’ jealous
Play that back and get wet (Michael: YEAH YEAH)
3 pound at my waist, shank in my sock
You either get cut get stuffed or get shot

[MICHAEL]
This is the tale of Captain Jack Sparrow
Pirate so brave, on the seven seas (Andy: What?)
A mystical quest, to the isle of Tortuga
Raven locks sway, on the ocean breeze

[AKIVA]
Yeah, that was kinda weird but we’re back in the club
Buyin’ out the bar so the groupies show us love (Michael: Keira Knightley!)
Mutha f**king Ice Man
I’m the top gunna
Heater on blast
I’m the number one stunna (Michael: Jack Sparrow!)

[ANDY]
Watch your girl because I ain’t your mister nice guy
More like the meet ya take you home and f**k you twice guy
All dressed up with nowhere to run
I know I make you feel crazy when I—

(Michael: Now back to the good part!!!)

[MICHAEL]
From the day he was born
He yearned for adventure (Andy: NO!)
Old Captain Jack (Jorma: Yeah)
Giving them what for!
He’s the pauper of the surf (Andy: uh huh)
The jester of Tortuga
But in Davy Jones locker
What lies in store? (Akiva: Yeah, we’ve seen the movie)

[ANDY]
Put your hands in the air
And say hell yeah

[MICHAEL]
Captain Jack (Andy: What?)
Johnny Depp (Andy: No)

[JORMA]
From the front to the back
Saying we count stacks c’mon

[MICHAEL]
Davy Jones (Jorma: Nope)
Giant squid (Jorma: Wrong)

[AKIVA]
Michael Bolton, we’re really gonna need you to focus up

[MICHAEL]
Roger that let me try it with another film (Andy: Wait)
Life is a box of chocolates and my name is Forrest Gump (Andy: Not better)
Though I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed
I give Jenny all my love (Akiva: Come ON)
Okay, then I’m a legal aid
Erin Brockovich is my name (Andy: Nooo, Akiva: Oh god)
Then you can call me Scarface
Snortin’ mountains of cocaine (Andy: Close Enough.)
You cockroaches wanna play rough?
Okay, I’m reloaded! HA HA!
This is the tale of Tony Montana
This is the tale!
Cubano Flame 
With Miami Nuts
Got a basehead wife
Her womb is polluted
This whole town’s a pu$$y
Just waiting to get f**ked
Just waiting to get f**ked! (Andy: Okay it turns out Michael Bolton is a major cinephile) You COMPLETE me!  (Andy: Yeah, yeah, okay.)

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This past week I went to San Francisco for a WCG Creative Summit.  It was a good time had by all, and we learned a lot about the creative process.  In one exercise, we were broken up into groups and were given a largely defunct brand and were asked to revitalize it.  Our brand was TaB, from Coca-Cola. 

Rather than design a t-shirt and come up with a slogan, we opted to take it a step further.  Armed with my iPad I quickly composed a jingle, recorded the chorus (with some help from @sigpwned), and filmed a video on the iPad camera and edited it all together in iMovie.  A nice little commerical for the Apple afficionados out there.  More importantly though, it was an example of how someone from a non-creative group within a diverse organization can take whatever skills they have and apply them to new situations to come up with something unique.  I hope all the 'non-creatives' out there realize that you're really creative, and whether you express that through data and analytics, or press releases, or chemistry, new, inspiring, original thought is creative, even if it isn't always art.  Sometimes though, your knowledge of the area you're capabale of creative thinking in can lead you to the creation of art.  

Anyways, this is the story of our rebranding of Tab.  The video is something I mashed together when I got home because the first variety was just footage of me working out in the hotel gym in a dress shirt and trousers, and the song has been built on since the meeting, but it was all done on a mobile device; recording, instruments, sound engineering and all.  Pretty amazing to think about the possiblity of developing a campaign for a brand in the span of a meeting using tools like the iPad.  

In the mid 1970s the FDA declared that the sweetener in TaB Cola could potentially cause cancer, and slapped the soda with a warning. In the following years sales plummeted and the diet cola market was taken over by Diet Coke. Tab is still around though, and about 3 million cases ship each year, so someone out there still thinks it is delicious. Unfortunately Coke isn't making the ad investment they need to, so using only an iPad and Garage Band for iPad I came up with a new jingle and tag line. Tab - Can U Handle It? Tab is a drink for the young and happy, the kind of people who drive big cars and with the top down while playing loud music as they and their sorority sisters drive to the beach for a weekend of frivolity. They eat that last piece of chocolate cake because they know their beverage only has one calorie and they know that is not very much. They are the 'IT' crowd, they prefer dance music, and they seek inspiration in the most unlikely places. They are the TaB drinkers, and they can handle it. TaB, it's a party in your mouth.

The Jingle.  Listen with speakers.  If this gets enough views I'll redo it with real microphones and non-virtual instruments:

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Today you'll be able to use Facebook deals for the first time if you live in Austin, Dallas, San Francisco, San Diego, or Atlanta. Deals are designed to be more social activities, and might not always be discounted, but are rather things you might not have access to, like backstage ACL live tickets for you and your friends. Read details at the Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/04/26/facebook-deals-groupon-rival_n_85368... or read about this on Mashable). I'm getting me some concert tickets.

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By now you've probably seen the video below.  It exploded onto the internet weeks ago and everyone who watched was enraptured by happy tingling and butterflies.  I shared it on facebook and twitter, but I wanted to repost it because they've finally released a studio version on iTunes.  I strongly recommend you go and download it, and think about how amazing it would be to be randomly clicking through the sea of...um...passable content on chatroulette, stumble upon this dude and his friends, and get senenaded in epic fashion.  Enjoy the video if you haven't seen it yet :)

Support the artist, download on iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/chatroulette-love-song-single/id427799131

Listen to the studio version: 

01_Chatroulette_Love_Song.m4a Listen on Posterous

Yes I know its downloadable here, but I want these guys to make more stuff, so go buy it. 

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I'm a huge college basketball fan.  I was born in Lexington, Kentucky at a UK hospital, and went to school at UNC-Chapel Hill.  I will be rooting for UNC on Sunday, in case you were wondering--because even though I was a Wildcat Born and a Wildcat bred, when I die, I'm a Tarheel dead.  Destiny is a curious thing.  

It seems as though Butler is on a repeat mission to fulfill their destiny.  I was at the Championship game last year in Indianapolis to watch them beat Dook.  Not how things turned out, to my dismay at the time, but it looks like they're making a solid run for the title once more, and succeeding in a way that my rival has not.  After college I lived in Louisville, KY for a while and meet some Indianapolis transplants who had gone to Butler.  It was the first I'd ever heard of the school, but definitely not the last.  Brad Stevens has some special kind of magic in him and he is doing amazing things with their program.  One could predict, at his young age with the talent he has shown, he is in high demand.  But a combination of love for the school and city, and what I'm sure is a generous compensation package from Butler, he is going to stay there for the foreseeable future.  Why is such an investment worthwhile for a school like Butler?  What do they, or any school really, get out of Tournament success?  For schools like UCLA, Syracuse, Kentucky, Kansas, UNC and Dook, success at the big dance has come to be expected, and each year our universities derive millions from the sale of merchandise catalysed by our success at sports.  But I have yet to see a Texan wearing a Butler Jersey.  The base isn't quite established.  But with this latest run at the title, all of that might change.  I've put together some numbers to show you just how much that might change.  Butler is quickly becoming a household name, and not just in the mansions of the hyper-wealthy.

What do you think?  Are the millions of dollars invested by universities in NCAA sports programs worth it? 

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Awesome stuff here.  Smooth R&B, dance pop, this is diverse like a mix tape should be.  Tell all your friends to head over to Billboard.com to listen to and download.  Buy it when it comes out, it'll have an additional song, and we want Anoop to keep making these.  You can also listen to it below.  Thanks Anoop!

DJ Trauma Presents Anoop Desai, "Zero.0" by billboard

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via i.imgur.com

I predict that in ten years computers will be so large and so expensive that only the five richest kings of Europe will be able to afford them. Mn'glayven.

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OJ and Toothpaste do taste terrible. 

WorthTheWait-AnoopDesai-ListenandShare-ZeroDropsApril20oniTunes.mp3 Listen on Posterous

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